Almost every reader has been pulled out of a story at some time by wandering body parts.
“His eyes were glued to her face.”
Ah no. His gaze may have been fixed on her face, but his eyes were probably still in his head, like normal.
“His feet raced to the door.”
What? The rest of him stayed behind?
“It might seem romantic to say, “He gave her his heart,” but to some people, who’ve watched too many horror movies, that is not a romantic image at all.
Some publishing houses have rules that prohibit body parts moving independently.
“His fingers wandered onto her thigh.” No, in these houses, he has to be in control, so “He let his fingers drift onto her thigh”. Besides, I’m betting those fingers were still attached to his hand, so therefore the second version makes more sense. Although, “He gently stroked her thigh” might be even better.
Before sending your book to a publishing house or agent, be sure to check it for wandering body parts. Always remember that some people will be icked by the thought of body organs having an out-of-body experience.
Helen Woodall
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